As a little girl I grew up dreaming of my husband as Prince Charming. The man of my dreams that would come from far far away and make my heart beat race as he saved me from the dungeon guarded by the dragon. We would then live happily ever after.
As I grew into adulthood this idea of Prince Charming grew a bit dim. Yes, some charming princes approached but with time their frog nature came out. But you know what? It was all for the better. Looking back, I realized that these past love experiences molded me and helped to inform me about the types of values and character traits that I wanted in my life partner.
So… why did I choose Mike as my husband? Which steps brought me to him?
In many of the books I read it was stressed over and over that before finding your soul mate you must work on yourself. You have to do this first as a gift for yourself and second as a gift for the union you plan to enter into. I was always interested in personal development and I always wanted to give the best version of myself so this principle is one that I strived to live by. I enjoyed my single life traveling with friends, regularly embarked on taking part in new activities such as singing in gospel choir, playing the flute, reading self-development and business books, taking different classes, going to seminars, etc.
To be happy in your marriage, you have to know yourself, give to yourself, and invest in yourself before knowing, giving to, and investing in someone else.
MAKE YOUR LIST
Now not everybody will agree with this point and some might even be offended but I believe this is a crucial step. There are so many people in this world, many of them very wonderful, but not all of them will fit you… and you know why? Because you are unique and special!
Once you know yourself, now you can know what you expect in your future spouse and also how you will be able to complement him. I wrote my list and then divided into two parts. The first was the required criteria that my future spouse should meet mainly based on characters’ traits, values, and the way of that he envisioned the future. The second list was more of a “it would be nice if” list, but for me this was just bonus.
I believe that having a clear vision of the person you want to share your life with saves you a lot of time, energy, and pain. You will also be able to attract the type of person you are looking for more easily. And you know what? Mike met all the criteria I had in my first list! Like for example I wanted someone who was family oriented and he’s a great husband and father. I wanted someone close to God and he’s taking his priest role very seriously. I wanted someone honest and on whom I could rely on and he is showing it daily to me, and the list can go on.
WATCH CAREFULLY AND PRAY ABOUT IT
So when I met Mike despite the fact that I found him sexy and attractive lol, I watched him. I took the time to get to know him and to see how he interacted with his family, friends and business relationships. I liked what I saw, I was attracted by his kindness, by his vision of the world, by his dreams, his drive… and I wanted to be part of it. We lived in different countries and did the long distance thing for a bit more than 2 years, it was actually a blessing as it gave us the perfect opportunity to get to know each other thoroughly and deeply, sharing about our feelings, dreams, and expectations during long hours on the phone or via skype.
Even if we are different on so many levels (just read the About Us section LMAO), we are complimentary. I feel that with him we are on the same pace and we are deeply emotionally, physically, spiritually, and morally connected.
I try my best to maintain a close connection to God because I believe He wants the best for me, knows me better than myself, and sees the future. So I prayed about this growing relationship and I had the conviction that I was walking in His plan. And this aspect is very important because when life gets tougher I like to remember myself that Mike IS the one for me with no doubt.
And you why did you choose your husband/wife as your spouse? I would love to read your stories too.